So, I totally fell off the train last night. I had been doing really well with the whole new-diet thing all week, but I finally just got sick of it. The only thing that does not make me sick is bread, lunchmeat, and fruit. EVERYTHING else has an effect on me: carbonated drinks, artifical sweeteners, meat, dairy, fat, etc. I am sick of it. Why me? Everyone else can just eat whatever and their body deals. My body does not, and it drives me crazy. I am trying to get back on track today, but we'll see...I am miserable but I hating having to restict so much.
Besides my body's gay issues, I am frustrated to still be at school. All the other kids at Dordt are gone...I started school earlier than then, I have shorter breaks then them, and now I have a shorter summer, too. I fucking hate that I have to work so much harder than them. And I just got my final grade for my nursing class: B. A "B" is okay..its passing, BUT I busted my ASS the whole time and thats all I got. So basically, all i have learned is to not put so much effort in, because I will get the same grade anyways. I still have two finals left, but I have absolutely no motivation to study. Why? Ill get the same grade anyways.
And I look Asian because of my stupid hair.
It is just fml type of day. Peace.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
I Got the Memo :)
Ahh.
Today is a good day. Finally, after a year and a half of chronic issues, I believe my digestive system and I will be able to make peace. This is more of a blessing than most people will understand, because, frankly, it was very embarassing.
My symptoms started two christmases ago. When I returned to school, i started to have these odd digestive issues. (prepare yourself for some SEVERE tmi): Things were just off: I was incredibly irregular but not in a normal way- in one day, i would go from constipated to diarrhea to constipated again. I was always gassy and bloated. And right after I ate, I had an urge to go to the bathroom, but I would not be able to. In fact, i always felt heavy and like I needed to go, but I just was too constpiated to. In addition,I definitely had foods that triggered these symptoms more than others: any red meat or fatty/deep fried food would do me in. I figured it was because I didn't eat those things very often; therefore, my body was just not used to it. These things were managable, but then I started to have VERY loud bowel sounds..I dont really know how to describe them. It just sounded like my intestines were always pissed off and full of gas.
That was the embarassing part of my symptoms. A queit room became the scariest thing ever, because inevidently, my stomach/intestines would start going crazy. It sounds almost like a fart, but it wasn't because it was all internal. I was soo embarassed when it happened. In fact, it even started to affect my ability to take tests. Sitting in the queit testing room was so stressful for me, because I was scared i would make a noise. This made me distracted from my tests and made me rush through them just so I could get out of the room.
I didnt' know what do it. I thought it might have been a side effect of abusing laxatives in high school, but I did that as a junior; therefore, why would it just start to affect me now? Then I thought, maybe it was my diet that was triggering these things. I tried increasing my fiber and drinking more water to make me less constipated, but it didnt work. I always avoided red meat and fatty foods, because they were know triggers, but even when I dodged those foods, the symptoms were there,only to a less degree.
Finally, this past january, I went to the doctor. I figured that if it had bugged me for a whole year, it was worth looking into. She took an x ray of my abdomen that showed that my bowels were not emptying completely...like things were sticking to the sides of the intestine and not passing through. She said I should do a colon cleanse to make the symptoms stop. So I did as she said: I drank 64 oz of gatorade with a WHOLE bottle of Miralax mixed in it. That is like 14 doses my friends. Needless to say, the Miralax made me shit for like three days straight. After that, I waited for my symptoms to go away, but they never did. I now, five months later, I am still having the same issues, so frustrating.
So, I resorted to an online search- there HAD to be others out there that had my symtpoms, and indeed there were :)
The answer: IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome)
All the symtpoms matched up perfectly! The constipation, going right after a meal, red meat and fat intolerance, the LOUD bowel sounds. Everything matched.
I am so so thankful!! BUT...what is the treatment for this condition? Complete diet modification, unforunately. I need to redo how I eat completely. When I researched it more, dairy products are a huge trigger for IBS. I had never tried avoiding these foods, so as of this week, I am out of dairy: milk, sour cream, salad dressing, mayo, etc. When the staple of your diet is cereal, that is a huge challenge. In addition, people with IBS need to avoid eating things high in insoluble fiber, gas producing foods and fat. This means: cereal, popcorn, anything wholewheat, broccoli, calaflower, onions, garlic. etc. Basically, it means I have to adhere to a VERY strict and healthy diet to stay symtpom free.
I believe this is a God thing. I have struggled for YEARS with eating and being healthy and loving my body like I should. As a person with bulmic tendencies, doing this has been the struggle of a life time. Recently, I have been really trying to focus not on dieting but on treating my body well as a whole, which will yeild the results of a healthy weight and a healthy body. It is what I want to do, but I have been really struggling on implimenting it in my life.
With finally knowing what is wrong with my body and knowing that treatment means treating my body very very well, I feel like God is saying:
"You cant do it by yourself, so I will help you. You HAVE to be healthy to get rid of these symptoms. No need to thank me, your welcome"
Its like a light is turned on. Being healthy is no longer an option. It is a must if I want to function normally in society. So, here I go:
1. No greasy/deep fried foods
2. No red meat
3. No dairy
4. No egg yolks
5. Nothing high in insoluble fiber
6. Nothing high in fat ie: candy, cake, doughnuts, anything cooked in oil, peanut butter, chocolate,butter etc.
This will be insane. What will I eat!?! Well, I can eat veggies, fruit, white meats, rice, potatoes, yams, oatmeal, flour tortillas :)
Healthy food.
Okay, God, I got the memo :) Thanks, Daddy.
Today is a good day. Finally, after a year and a half of chronic issues, I believe my digestive system and I will be able to make peace. This is more of a blessing than most people will understand, because, frankly, it was very embarassing.
My symptoms started two christmases ago. When I returned to school, i started to have these odd digestive issues. (prepare yourself for some SEVERE tmi): Things were just off: I was incredibly irregular but not in a normal way- in one day, i would go from constipated to diarrhea to constipated again. I was always gassy and bloated. And right after I ate, I had an urge to go to the bathroom, but I would not be able to. In fact, i always felt heavy and like I needed to go, but I just was too constpiated to. In addition,I definitely had foods that triggered these symptoms more than others: any red meat or fatty/deep fried food would do me in. I figured it was because I didn't eat those things very often; therefore, my body was just not used to it. These things were managable, but then I started to have VERY loud bowel sounds..I dont really know how to describe them. It just sounded like my intestines were always pissed off and full of gas.
That was the embarassing part of my symptoms. A queit room became the scariest thing ever, because inevidently, my stomach/intestines would start going crazy. It sounds almost like a fart, but it wasn't because it was all internal. I was soo embarassed when it happened. In fact, it even started to affect my ability to take tests. Sitting in the queit testing room was so stressful for me, because I was scared i would make a noise. This made me distracted from my tests and made me rush through them just so I could get out of the room.
I didnt' know what do it. I thought it might have been a side effect of abusing laxatives in high school, but I did that as a junior; therefore, why would it just start to affect me now? Then I thought, maybe it was my diet that was triggering these things. I tried increasing my fiber and drinking more water to make me less constipated, but it didnt work. I always avoided red meat and fatty foods, because they were know triggers, but even when I dodged those foods, the symptoms were there,only to a less degree.
Finally, this past january, I went to the doctor. I figured that if it had bugged me for a whole year, it was worth looking into. She took an x ray of my abdomen that showed that my bowels were not emptying completely...like things were sticking to the sides of the intestine and not passing through. She said I should do a colon cleanse to make the symptoms stop. So I did as she said: I drank 64 oz of gatorade with a WHOLE bottle of Miralax mixed in it. That is like 14 doses my friends. Needless to say, the Miralax made me shit for like three days straight. After that, I waited for my symptoms to go away, but they never did. I now, five months later, I am still having the same issues, so frustrating.
So, I resorted to an online search- there HAD to be others out there that had my symtpoms, and indeed there were :)
The answer: IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome)
All the symtpoms matched up perfectly! The constipation, going right after a meal, red meat and fat intolerance, the LOUD bowel sounds. Everything matched.
I am so so thankful!! BUT...what is the treatment for this condition? Complete diet modification, unforunately. I need to redo how I eat completely. When I researched it more, dairy products are a huge trigger for IBS. I had never tried avoiding these foods, so as of this week, I am out of dairy: milk, sour cream, salad dressing, mayo, etc. When the staple of your diet is cereal, that is a huge challenge. In addition, people with IBS need to avoid eating things high in insoluble fiber, gas producing foods and fat. This means: cereal, popcorn, anything wholewheat, broccoli, calaflower, onions, garlic. etc. Basically, it means I have to adhere to a VERY strict and healthy diet to stay symtpom free.
I believe this is a God thing. I have struggled for YEARS with eating and being healthy and loving my body like I should. As a person with bulmic tendencies, doing this has been the struggle of a life time. Recently, I have been really trying to focus not on dieting but on treating my body well as a whole, which will yeild the results of a healthy weight and a healthy body. It is what I want to do, but I have been really struggling on implimenting it in my life.
With finally knowing what is wrong with my body and knowing that treatment means treating my body very very well, I feel like God is saying:
"You cant do it by yourself, so I will help you. You HAVE to be healthy to get rid of these symptoms. No need to thank me, your welcome"
Its like a light is turned on. Being healthy is no longer an option. It is a must if I want to function normally in society. So, here I go:
1. No greasy/deep fried foods
2. No red meat
3. No dairy
4. No egg yolks
5. Nothing high in insoluble fiber
6. Nothing high in fat ie: candy, cake, doughnuts, anything cooked in oil, peanut butter, chocolate,butter etc.
This will be insane. What will I eat!?! Well, I can eat veggies, fruit, white meats, rice, potatoes, yams, oatmeal, flour tortillas :)
Healthy food.
Okay, God, I got the memo :) Thanks, Daddy.
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