Monday, March 21, 2011

Exacerbations

Here I sit in Sioux City as the newest renter at Glen Oaks Apartments. I moved in thursday and then spent the weekend with Ty. So far, Sioux City = relapses of various forms. In honor of my recently acquired career and my general addiction to nursing, we shall call them "exacerbations". I love that word.

Exacerbation #1: IBS
Naturally, with that added stress of moving to a new city and starting a career, my body has gone to shit. IBS like none other. I prophlatically (sorry for another nursing word) got a prescription of Bentyl (the med I had been on last summer)to head off my symptoms, but unfortunately, it only made them worse. It is so frustrating. After two years of struggling, I would really appreciate some consistent relief. If I don't figure things out soon, the doctors are going to make me get a colonscopy. I. Dont. Want. One. I just want to feel better. And it is especially annoying when I want to have Ty around. I hate feeling sick around him, but I don't know what I can do. Its so embarassing.


Exacerbation #2: Relationship
It seems like every time I start a relationship, there is always a certain amount of time in the beginning of it where I am incredibly insecure about everything. And with this go around, it is particularly bad: partly because I am crazy about it and partly because of Tyler's past. For whatever reason it is really hard to get past. This weekend, we had alot of time together. He wants to be close and preaches undying love and affection towards me, but I am still intimidated and therefore hesitant to believe him. I want to very badly, but I can not wrap my head around how I trump allllllll the women he has every been with. He has admitted to over 40 first kisses and 20 sex partners, so that means probably about 30 hookups in between. Thats a lot of women. Alot of loving. I dont know why I can't get past the comparisons in my mind, but I'm having a really hard time. The other night, we were messing around or whatever you want to call it and had to straight up stop. All I could think about was him being the exact same way with dozens and dozens of women. I made me feel sick and not up to par. I hate this feeling.

1 comment:

  1. The drug ruflumilast (Daxas), with the clinical term ‘phosphodiesterase-4 (PDE4) inhibitor, has proven highly efficient in treating patients with COPD by reducing the symptoms. Roflumilast offers continuous and substantial improvement in lung function and a reduction of the otherwise frequent exacerbations. This is particularly great news for patients with symptoms of chronic cough and sputum who are in higher risk of frequent exacerbations and hence reduction of baseline lung functioning. Exacerbations can be life threatening and causes great distress, not only for the patients but also their relatives. Patients sometimes feel as though they are suffocating and fear that they may die. Some even become depressed after an exacerbation about the outlook of further exacerbations occurring with a further decline in lung function and more rapid disease development.

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